9th May 2024

Review: “Stellkira” by Belushi Speed Ball

Louisville, Kentucky Crossover Thrash act Belushi Speed Ball (who in case you didn’t already know take their name from American comedian, actor, and musician John Belushi, who died from overdosing on a mixture of cocaine and heroin known as speedball) have been nothing short of prolific since they burst onto the scene in 2013. Since then they’ve hammered out no less than six EPs and three full length albums, all running on themes from cartoons, movies and humour with “Stellkira” being the latest of those. Mastered to perfection by Joel Grind (Municipal Waste, Power Trip, Bewitcher) of Toxic Holocaust fame having been produced and mixed by former guitarist Chase Bensing, we ask will they burn out or fade away?

When someone is slinging mud and talking trash about your band, comparing then to frozen pizza in some vague insult to Pizza Thrash bands, the perfect answer is to throw down a blistering, inspired tune. For the purpose Belushi Speed Ball deliver opening cut “My Favorite Color is Pizza” piping hot. Vinny Crastellano rants his way through intelligent, humorous lyrics like Jello Biafra on steroids as Jamison Land supplies the dynamite Thrash Punk riffs alongside anthemic gang chants of “Pizza!” that will get the audience involved when this gone goes out live. After that stone cold winner comes “This is the Peak“, an ode to the “internet’s busiest music nerd” and YouTube reviewer Anthony Fantano. Another breakneck speed riff based affair littered with gang chanted moments, it’s hilarious good fun before “Eels and Escalators” does likewise with “Snakes and Ladders“. The difference here is that the main riff from Land feels like it’s borrowed from a demo from an “Americana” era demo from The Offspring with a surprisingly warm melodic edge that’s a little bit… cringe worthy. Fortunately, Belushi Speed Ball get away with it thanks to a Bleigh! style moment from Crastellano and something vaguely resembling a breakdown. The first of five cuts that float around the sixty second mark is “Get to the Point“, a classic piece of music for people with short attention spans which, like Ronseal, does exactly what it says on the tin. Somehow they even manage to shoehorn in a solo to something which has Southern Rock ‘n Roll sensibilities in the vein of Rocket From The Crypt. Who knew they had it in them?

Variety is of course the spice of life and having given us two tracks with more melody to them, the heavy hitting Death Thrash banger “Glass Bones and Paper Skin IV” finds Crastellano giving us scalding Slam vocals live and direct. A vicious little ditty that feels like you’ve been zapped out of the album and into something by Within Destruction, it’s a savage demonstration of power that feels like a warning shot to anyone who says this band can’t do exactly what they want, when they want. As if that wasn’t enough to get excited about “The Adventures of Rick and Mortarion” then finds the band offering up the longest cut on the record. Surpassing the four minute mark with consummate ease, it has hints at Metalcore influences in the riff department as the bass and drums nail the rhythmic drive. Who doesn’t love a conspiracy theory? Spreading their own like a disease “Garth, Let My Family Go” points the finger at Country star Garth Brooks as being a serial killer with the kind of hilarious tongue in cheek humour you’d expect from Wednesday 13. Its a Speed Thrash classic that feels like a scratch card winning moment, as does follow up “Griffith Did Literally Everything Wrong“, which has the solo that the album had cried out for up until this point. Think Stormtroopers of Death for a new generation and you get the picture.

A headbangers delight “The Hash Slinging Slasher” feels like its the sub-plot to a Wes Craven directed 4:20 Slasher movie; a classic tale of death over and over again in more and more questionable situations. Not only is it hilarious but intelligently put together, something the band will never get an ounce of credit for. Want something heavier? Belushi Speed Ball have got you with “The Accountant’s Due (Stab the Katana)“, an 80’s Thrash influenced slab of concrete that slaps like a wet fish. The earworm main riff may not be complex but it is as lethally effective as the rest of the album. Yes, as with their previous records there are still a few points at which you feel like you’re in the rehearsal space of a friends band and they’re telling inside jokes that you simply don’t get but for the most part this is still the most fun you can have without being involved in a chainsaw accident. Last but by no means least is “Tater Tot Eyes“, a cut with a Nintendo Gameboy style solo that finds the band busting out another low budget horror movie idea with a theme song… [7.5/10]

Track Listing