Review: “Children Of The Cunt” by Vast Slug

When your manifesto is “Blast Beats are the best, get high all the time” and you specialise in fast and aggressive Grindcore (wait… isn’t all Grindcore fast and aggressive?!) then which bands are you going to pick for your covers EP? In the cast of Norwich quartet Vast Slug, famed for such sonic abrasions as “Does Anybody Really Need A Drummer?” (a reference to the fact their drum machine is always set to overdrive because no mortal drummer can keep up with them), “Remixed To The Point Of Orgasm” and “Yes I Am On Drugs Thanks For Asking“, you might think there would be a rendition of something by Bryan Adams…

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Karybdis guitarist Dave Klussmann and with a tongue in cheek humour title, the four piece bring us a collection based on their influences and don’t so much make them their own as curb stomp them. As anyone who grew up on a diet of KoRn will know, “A.D.I.D.A.S” has an instantly recognisable riff, so Vast Slug have used that to their advantage and turned a Nu-Metal classic into a Grindcore monster, taking the ordinary and putting in a V8 engine in it. Not only is their rendition faster than a speeding bullet, but it has their trademark feral vocal style embossed upon it like a boot print in the mud… and the strangest part is that underneath it all you can still hear the original. Shorter, faster and more aggressive, their rendition of “You’re A Fucking Cunt” by Anal Cunt takes the original, which kind of had Hardcore Punk vibes to it and turns everything up to eleven. The butter knife is now a chainsaw. Go hard or go home. Let’s just say, this is now circle pit worthy enough to start a tornado; although given the 59 second duration they’ll have to play it 3 or 4 times back to back live to make it happen. Fuck it, why not? As for “You Suffer” by Napalm Death well.. it’s 1 second. ’nuff said. Overall, nothing short of hilarious good fun [8/10]

Track Listing

1. “A.D.I.D.A.S” (KoRn cover ft. Chad Kapper from Frontierer)
2. “You’re A Fucking Cunt” (Anal Cunt cover ft. Liam Keeler from The Boy Will Drown)
3. “You Suffer” (Napalm Death cover)

“Children Of The Cunt” by Vast Slug was released on 1st December 2023 and is available over at bandcamp.